Am I really God’s treasure , or am I merely a ‘ flop’ and a failure because I am 30 and yet again, single? Does that mean that I am not worthy of love , or that I am not a lovely person?
I have asked myself these questions often , especially lately at my recent status of ‘ single ‘ ….. Single …… That word can sting the aching heart. It is as if single can sometimes make you feel like you are not special , not worthy of being loved and that you are just not ‘ measuring up ‘ to Christian / church expectations or even to our society.
However , upon a melt down yesterday at my Canadian thanksgiving meal because the sting of ‘ single …. and alone ‘ hit me like a freight train… and I crumbled.
Does it really mean that I am not special, lovely, unique, sweet , beautiful on the inside , worthy of love …. because I am single ? I questioned that all night and wrestled with God until I woke up mid morning with Him speaking to my heart with these words and thoughts….
‘ No, my dearly loved child ….Being single does not mean that you are not worthy or special , or unique and sweet , or beautiful . I created all things and said that they were good!
Your romantic status doesn’t determine my love for you ; and your romantic status is unique …. Each person has a different life story . Don’t get bogged down in what you don’t have ,but focus on what you DO have. In time, I will reveal the things that I have waiting for you , but I desire for you to trust in me , to be complete in me, and to wait patiently on me .’
I was brought to tears and to the end of myself, this morning. It is exhausting … wondering if today I will meet my true Prince Charming, and then being disappointed at another day passed by and still no prince …
So, I have decided that I am just going to ‘go with God’ and trust that His timing is perfect, His plan for me is perfect and I know that he knows my deepest desires and dreams. I leave them at His feet and I surrender the disappointment , insecurities, the pain, the frustration and jealousy of others who are married and have growing families… I surrender these at the ‘ cross’ where He showed me that I am a most worthy human being!!
My grandmother used to say ‘ bloom where you are planted ‘ ( a quote from Corrie ten boom ) and so today, this new gift of a day , I have decided to do just that…. To bloom where I am planted , single or not. I will not recoil into a ‘hole’ of sadness , insecurity and pain for my status …. I will rejoice that God has great things in store for me as I continue to trust in Him.
My God will never leave me or forsake me , and so I am letting go ever so timidly , of the reigns and the chains that have kept me bound to thinking that if I am single that I ‘don’t matter, and that there must be something wrong with me .’
Christ says I do matter, because I accepted His son as my personal saviour and this makes me worthy ; Christ says that I am unique because he says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made ; Christ says that I matter because he stretched out his arms and died on the cross …. Even if I was the only one on earth .. He would have still died for ME! For you!!
We find our worth not in beauty, or fashion or in things , not in a career or in our romantic status ….. We find our worth in Christ and he says that we are worthy !
I will hold on to this truth today , as I timidly begin to bloom where I am planted …. right here and right now!
Be blessed and know that God loves you ….. immensely !